When we change our inner world, our outer world changes.
– Coach EdWIN
So many of us are consumed waiting, even insisting on changes outside. Unconsciously, we are keeping ourselves away from our dreams.What we need to do first is to change inside.
I had a client who was in a long relationship. Let’s call her Alfa. Alfa was always happy and jolly. She had a very dynamic regional position, a very promising career that gave her and her family a very comfortable life.
But she was in a toxic relationship. She and her boyfriend Bernard were in a “weird” relationship where she tolerated the many signs of infidelity. She trusted him completely even when she felt there were many things that were wrong in their relationship. He proposed in very odd circumstances and they got married.
Soon thereafter, the truth behind their relationship revealed itself as the husband continued his spate of infidelity. It turned out that the marriage wasn’t even valid at all. He was previously married and faked his documents so he could marry Alfa. The signs were all there even before they got “married”. She was just resisting the signs. What you resist persists.
After more than 8 years together and almost a year “married”, they broke up. She knew it was final. She knew they were never getting back.
But she had been carrying a burden all this time.
I met Alfa more than a year after their final break-up. When we met for coaching, Alfa vividly recalled an episode that happened more than a year ago. It was the moment she confirmed her suspicions, when she caught her husband with another woman at a mall … *that* mall. She was enraged, she lost all sense of civility, and she unleashed her anger on Bernard and the “mistress”.
When I met Alfa for coaching, she was all happy and jolly. That was her default that was how she projects herself to people. That was one way that she was resisting her failed relationship. Behind the smiles, there was bottled-up anger and lack of forgiveness.
As a result of what she was resisting, she was trapped in a cage. In a city where she had the freedom to go anywhere she wanted, she just couldn’t bring herself to the mall where more than a year ago she unleashed her wrath on Bernard. Every time her friends would invite her to go to *that* mall, she would decline. And her friends couldn’t understand why.
This strong, happy, successful career woman was trapped in unforgiveness and anger towards her ex.
Through coaching, I led Alfa through a mind rehearsal. We accessed the values that knew she had. This helped her choose to feel more positively toward her memories of the past and her present situation.
She wanted to be happy, accepting of her self, she wanted to love herself more and she wanted to forgive. In that coaching session, she reached a level of happiness, acceptance, love and forgiveness that allowed her to feel “okay” about her ex.
No more anger, no more hatred.
Just forgiveness, acceptance, and loving herself more.
Right after the coaching, I observed that her eyes were twinkling. Her face was more relaxed, more open. No more hiding behind the mask of that jolly smile. Her eyes connected more to the people around her. They say it’s the “aura” that lightens up and just projects more love and happiness.
A few days after her coaching, I was so thrilled to receive these messages from Alfa:
“Coach Edwin!!!! After 1 year and one month, and 2 days after we had the coaching session, I received a text message from Bernard saying SORRY to me! And as we had practiced, I was calm! I was CALM!!!! 😉 Ok na ako! Grabe ang galing talaga!! Thank you! 😉
“I’m so happy, naiiyak ako that I gave up the anger na. Feeling ko ang gaan na ng mundo ko.
“And parang I’m excited about something but I don’t really know what. Basta excited lang ako about what is still to come.. hahaha..weird ba?”
I replied: “I am sooo blessed by what you are telling me. I thank The Lord for the gift of Grace that He has given to you … which you finally accepted. I’m excited for you!”
Alfa continued: “Di ba siya weird? hahaha.. I didn’t have to forgive in baby steps. Siya na mismo nauna. I didn’t have to lift a finger. And yes, thanking GOD for the grace to let go and finally tell Bernard that I forgive him, I forgive myself, and thanking him for leaving me..because now I’m loving the me I see.
“Ang GALING GALING NI GOD! I was meant to meet you, and you to coach me. GALING TALAGA NG TIMING NI GOD. Grabe. Amazed na amazed ako. He works in mysterious and miraculous ways talaga.”
Even now that I am recalling this story, it gives me the goosebumps. How do you how, just two days after Alfa truly forgave, the ex says “sorry”? How do you explain that?
My friend, what is it that you need to change in your inner world?
Maybe that change within is all you need so that you can achieve greater dreams:
- a more nurturing relationship,
- happier workplace,
- a promotion,
- a change in career,
- more travel,
- higher sales,
- more clients,
- more time with family,
- more abundant finances,
- more happiness and love.
What do you dream of? The change starts within. Start today!
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Note: The details of the story above have been changed to protect the privacy of our clients. Any similarities are coincidental.
Image source: https://www.flickr.com/photos/fikoo/6344544005/