I’ve been conducting Life Coaching sessions through NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming).
It’s such a fulfilling line of work. I love what we do for the many clients I’ve been meeting the past years. I love how I have a front-row seat to the transformations that take place in a person before and after our coaching.
The transformations are phenomenal! Sometimes the transformations happen internally. My clients would tell me how differently they feel or how differently they think about themselves.
Often, the transformations manifest in the way my clients *look*, how they appear outwardly or physically.
Yes! In many instances, the look (sometimes called the “aura”) of people are totally different when you compare them before and after. That happens because something internal changed, and that affected how they carry themselves, how they “wear their face”.
Let me share to you 5 Life Changing Phenomena Revealed Through Life Coaching
Note: Most details have been masked to protect the identity of my clients. Any similarities to real people are … just similarities. 😉
1.) Our Logical Mind Forgets, Our Body and Subconscious Remembers
I was coaching a 13 year old client named Ardy. When he was nine years old, he stopped *wanting* to go to school. When I first spoke to his parents, I asked them: “Isn’t this a case of bullying?”. They said that their professional psychologists told them it wasn’t bullying. when I met my client for the first time, within the first half-hour, it was revealed to me that it was indeed bullying.
Most kids wouldn’t consider it bullying. Most kids could cope with the banter, the teasing. This kid is different. He experiences things — the teasing, the jokes, the laughter of others, the minimised time spent with friends – in a very different way. He experienced these as acts of betrayal, rejection, hatred, verbal abuse.
And the reason he experienced these events in an extreme way was because of a traumatic event that happened when he was 5 years old. He hasn’t made the connection yet (he couldn’t remember it). I’ve discovered that the experiences we have in our early childhood are often forgotten by our logical mind, and remembered by our body and our subconscious.
2.) Change your rhythm, change your feeling.
When I saw Tito Dexter, I had no clue that he was totally afraid of seeing coffins. For 36 years since 1978, he had approached a coffin only twice – once when his mother died, and another when one of his in-laws died. Apart from that, Tito Dexter was always absent in any other wake or funeral of relatives, friends, colleagues.
He described his feeling as totally terrified! He would get goosebumps, his hair would stand, he would have a hard time breathing, his knees would buckle at the mere thought of stepping close to a funeral parlor.
I showed him a way to change the way he feels by changing his rhythm of walking and breathing. He also had a song in his head while doing this. We practiced it together. And within one coaching session, we were able to walk-up to the coffin of a departed relative.
“Wow!” He exclaimed: “The devil has left me! I am healed of this fear that haunted me for 36 years!” And we were able to change his feeling by changing his rhythm, his breathing.
3.) We often know the answers
It’s funny how some of our coaching allows people to find answers within themselves.
For instance, I had a coaching sessions with Cathy. I guided her into having a conversation with herself, in her mind. She had one internal voice that was very cruel to her, un-forgiving, very critical. And she had another internal voice that was kind, considerate, supportive and also very confused.
It was like one internal voice was bullying the other internal voice.
You know, we all have this kind of internal voices. Thoughts that crop up and influence the way we think and feel about ourselves. Sometimes, we suppress these voices thinking: “I shouldn’t even think that way.” Sometimes, it’s a matter of allowing the thoughts to be expressed, to be acknowledged.
True enough, Cathy allowed both voices to express themselves. And after an internal conversation (the dialogue was happening in her head), Cathy was more at peace. She realised that the bully voice actually just wanted her to go beyond her comfort zone.
Many of us know the answers. It just takes a little guidance to discover the answers.
4.) When we change how we see things, the things we see change
My client, Deeana, described how her partner was very un-loving, very conditional, very insensitive. She had kids by another partner and Deeana wasn’t sure if her partner would stick it out with her in the long-run.
I reminded Deeana that there is just one person that she has complete control over: herself. She cannot change her partner, she can only change herself.
We went through our coaching in a cafe. And as I guided her through a process, she began to see things from a different perspective. She began to appreciate her partner beyond her usual complaints. She began to see the good side of her partner.
Towards the end of the session, she revealed to me that her partner was, in fact, very patient with Deeana. And that it was actually Deeana who had a short temper. It was the first time she revealed to me that she had a short temper.
She changed how she saw their relationship and she discovered new things about herself and her partner. Such a wonderful revelation!
5.) You can choose your attitude
One of my clients, Eckhart, asked me if she can change her personality. It was a very interesting question.
So I did tell her about my wife who was an introvert when she was a kid, and made a very deliberate decision in her teens that she wanted to become an extrovert.
I also told Eckhart about my high school classmate who was the class loudmouth, the babaeng bakla who would run after her male classmates when she got pissed at them. That same classmate became subdued, prim and proper when she got married … to the classmate who used to piss her off when we were in our teens!
I wanted to understand where Eckhart was coming from. She shared to me that when she is with her partner’s family, she is a totally different person, she is soft-spoken, she expresses herself less.
Eckhart was such a perfect example of how we can choose our attitude based on context. And through coaching, we can help you choose another attitude, another behaviour, another mindset that is more aligned with what you want in your life.
These are just some of the many breakthroughs we can achieve through coaching.
There are so many things I am discovering through coaching. In this blog www.winningcoaching.net, I will share with you stories I learn from my clients. My goal is to help you understand yourself better through these stories.
Question: What are some of the challenges you’ve encountered in your journey to a happier life?
Share your answer in the comments section below 😉 .
Be the best you can be!